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A Second Loss

I was thinking about my Mom today and feeling really sad.

It has been almost a year and a half since her death, and I couldn’t understand why I was feeling the loss so strongly.  After all, one would think that we had weathered the hardest part of her death by now.

But then I decided there is more than one stage to grief.

There is the bitter, heart-wrenching pain at first accompanied by some anger, some shock, some disappointment and many tears.

And yet, it is all of those things that somehow keep us connected closely to them.

Planning her service.

Caring for her things and sharing them with each other (along with the stories).

Handling her estate.

Sharing with other family members.

In a strange way, all of that kept her present in our lives.

But now … those things are finished.

Life has gone on without her for long enough that my thoughts are usually spent in a world of which she is no longer a part.

I still miss her and think of her every day.

She wasn’t at my brother’s birthday party … or there to share Christmas, or Thanksgiving for the second time.

No more long phone calls.

Life has gone on, and she is not in any of the new pictures or new experiences.

She really is gone.

And I was really sad.

Today, I pray for others who have lost a loved one and are still experiencing grief — in whatever way.

Lord, be faithful to your promise of life eternal.

Allow your presence and love to bring comfort to those who are struggling this day.

Thank you for the gift of your Son Jesus Christ, our Lord.



  1. Thank you for your blog and sharing your grief. I too, am sharing similar feelings about my mother who passed away 8 years ago Feb. 1st, and a whole separate set of feelings regarding my brother, Rick’s, death 12 years ago today. I am also thinking of many others as they continue on life’s journey missing their loved ones. Your devotions are such a blessing! Hugs and peace of Christ!

    • Rev. Cheryl Garbe

      In some ways it almost seems unfair that the more we have loved and the closer the relationship, the more painful the loss.

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